THE END OF CROSS ROAD
I am finally at the end of the crossroad and for the most part of the journey I did just about everything that I said I would do;
You were not meant to be a part of my plan but you have managed to provoke a response from me that has been felt physically, and emotionally, the kind of response that has literally sent my body and soul crazy, burning with desire, and passion for life,,, BUT you forget that I am not for the taking, I am the girl who gets what she wants and only spit it out if it appears to be Poisoned….
Regardless, you are choking me, you legit took my breathe away, and left me begging for more like a wildfire!
I let myself drown in my pain and desire for you, I finally drove myself crazy enough to go Blonde with a FUCKING CHILLED BANG.
Thereafter tonight, there will be a new birth and a sacrifice has occurred for the birth process. It’s like a pattern with me, once I shaved off my hair, I automatically start a whole new life, nonetheless, I am deliberate about this change to the best of my knowledge. I do have a say in the making of my destiny,,,
I am at my final stage of house cleaning, this time with the sound of my keyboard drumming like music.
As I type whilst gathering my thoughts together, the idea of you is starting to vanish in my head, I take it that you are not real, that we never happened, , that our memory together lasted longer in my dream, it was all in my head.
I was creating this illusion of us together because my soul and body want all of you with no reservations… I cant even book a fucking reservation for us , I am afraid you won’t show up to the damm party even if it was meant to celebrate you, to celebrate us..
You love her but she doesn’t know you, she is about to meet herself my the drawing of a new day, and she is starting to forget you because you bring out all the crazy in her.
When you left I was broken, I became someone I never thought that I could be. I was the enchantress that did not give a fuck about what anyone was saying about me, I was chilled with a range that I could control with a DARLING I DON’T WANT TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS kinda vibe…
After a short troubled months of depression and insomnia, I finally was able to get my train moving, until the 7th of August, I crashed my train under your shade and felt at peace with mankind for a minute, and life blossomed before my eyes like a beautiful flower.
If only you spent a little more timing getting to know the girl I was recovering from, I think if you had that knowledge of her, I guaranty you that the last thing you would want to do is BE MY TRIGGER.
It is exactly midnight 00:00 13 October, 2018
You are forgotten from my head, like my hair leaving my scalp with the aid of a single sharp razor blade that cannot harm me, I am not starting over, I am simply evolving, bringing my vision into reality.
I want you but not like this, not in this manner, I want you to want me.I am going to leave the rest of my days on my terms and not on a loaded gun with you pulling the trigger, I have reached my limit with you, now I AM BIT-WISE OPERATIONS…
It is time to say good bye, I wish you well..
May you find love with Rebecca, but I fear for us because she doesn’t know you, and lord knows that her heart and mind are communing with CREATION… IT IS TIME… I am done writing to you. Let me show you whats in my head…
YOU HELPED BUILD ME , WHY TF ARE WE AT THIS CROSSED ROAD SAYING GOOD BY>>?? YOU TELL ME…
From ROM the awakened……..